schedule.

Step 1) Open your iTunes or mp3 player on your computer
Step 2) Put it on shuffle
Step 3) Go through and answer the questions in order with the songs that shuffle

Don't skip any songs!

1. Some days I just feel like...i dont trust myself

3. My favorite type of day is...built this way (yep. having a pretty AWESOME day)

4. Nothing beats a good... bruised

5. When stuff confuses me, I just say...its my life

6. My view on sex is summed up with this word/phrase.. push. haha nice.

7. Heaven is like...milk shake. lol

8. I hope my last words are...tell me what to do? um...okayyy..

9. Facebook quizzes like this are dumb. I’d rather...say. lol..?

10. At my funeral, they’d better be listening to...you could be happy. awww!! thats so sad!! woah i would cry so hard.

12. Some days I just want to scream out...your pretty eyes. hmm..

13. I love to eat, especially when the food tastes like...currently. wow. that makes sense haha

14. I’m not racist, I just like to...bust your windows. hahaha!!!

15. Lots of these made no sense, but that’s because...zanzibar! lol.

16. My music knows me best, that’s why it knows that all I want for Christmas is...unbound the wild ride. hmm...

17. When I laugh a lot of people say I sound like...stop this train. ??? um ok. lol

18. My feelings on gay marriage are summed up in this word/phrase...winter wonderland. mmhmm..

19. If that last one made no sense to you, then I just have this to say to you...damn girl. haha! yay.

20. My last thought after this little quiz thing is this...the kill. lol.


well that was fun.

TBA

right. so i need to do something real quick.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!

okay. i feel a little better i guess.

im just a little frustrated with some people right now.

more like.. one person in particular.

but i dont think he's going to read this so it doesnt matter.

thank you, and goodnight.

chalice

it was obvious that the elephant would never rise again, but he was not dead. he was breathing very rhythmically with long rattling gasps, his great mound of a side painfully rising and falling. his mouth was wide open -- i could see far down into caverns of pale pink throat. I waited a long time for him to die, but his breathing did not weaken. finally i fired my two remaining shots into the spot where i thought his heart must be. the thick blood welled out of him like red velvet, but still he did not die. his body did not even jerk when the shots hit him, the tortured breathing continued without a pause. he was dying, very slowly and in great agony, but in some world remote from me where not even a bullet could damage him further. i felt that i had got to put an end to that dreadful noise. it seemed dreadful to see the great beast lying there, powerless to move and yet powerless to die, and not even to be able to finish him. i sent back for my small rifle and poured shot after shot into his head and down his throat. they seemed to make no impression. the tortured gasps continued as steadily as the ticking of a clock...

ferrara pan

so.
who's the best in all the land?
white knoll high school marching band.
sort of..
its a shame i completely poured all of my energy into band this year.. and had no time for anything else.
what a bummer.
3rd place is good.
i keep telling myself that.
and it was a really good senior year.
im serious about that.
and i cant wait to go compete in atlanta next semester.
gonna be wicked.
i guess thats all.
i dont ever post so... yeah.
nobody ever reads so... yeah. haha

express check-in

right.
so.
ive made some startling discoveries of the past two days about some people i thought i might have known.
which is dumb because i barely ever talked to them.
but still.
i was surprised.
lets just say that first impressions can be incredibly incorrect.
and i guess i didnt really think about it that much until just now.
and id love to talk to someone about it, but you dont know the people im talking about. and you wouldn't understand.
i promise. you wouldn't.
i dont even understand. how can i expect you to?
but thats all.
i expected writing this to give me some sort of relief.
it hasnt yet.
probably because its a whole lot of nothing.
i guess ill just say that i almost got caught up in something that might have been very devastating.
well.. that helped a little.
im never this emotional. its weird.
i feel like my insides are in a blender.
itd be cool if that could stop. soon. lol

black anemones

im leaving for band practice in 2 hours.
how exciting.
this is the beginning of my 4 month period of lifelessness.
which isnt a word i dont think.. but whatever.
who cares.
im going to carowinds on saturday. because im cool.
and i havent seen my friends from usc camp in a really long time.
so there. :)
i think im going to go read. because i dont have anything else to do..
oh, and secrets really suck when you really want to tell someone, but you cant.
thats all.

tres palos negros.

i just got back from oboe camp.
because i'm a dork and go to things like oboe camp..
:)
and it was awesome.
i was totally one of the best ones there.
but the best thing about it was definately my new oboe that i just bought!
yay!!
i'm so incredibly excited. you have no idea.
its a loree royal.
because im awesome.

when in doubt

I saw this picture and thought it was funny.

that is all.

:D

start at the flourish

i just got back from drum major camp.
which sounds dorky and lame, but holy crap.
i had pretty much the time of my life.
i met some really awesome people and i made some incredible friends.
but i swear. i miss them all so much already.
it feels like someone ripped my heart out and stomped on it..
i really fell in love with so many of those other drum majors.
they were all freaking awesome and i'm really going to miss them.
and if i was at camp right now id be walking back to the dorms with them
im going to start crying or something now.

this is serious, man

so my family had a yard sale today.
and like, nobody came.
it was kind of sad..
but i only stayed home for part of it.. i had an AWESOME OBOE REED MAKING WORKSHOP!!
YEAH!
lol.
it was pretty fun though.. in a dorky..oboe sort of way.
i havent been able to make a good reed since i started learning last year.. which is lame..
until today!! yay me!! because i got a new knife. and i swear its magic.
it was awesome..
you dont know what appreciation for your instrument is until you play on it with something you made completely from scratch, by yourself. its awesome.
and it put me in a really good mood.
and so did my most amazing awesome super cool friends coming home from the beach. (finally.. lol)
and i guess thats all.
i go to drum major camp tomorrow.. and i get to spend all week sleeping with someone i've never met before!
oh joy..

the wings

i just finished watching my movie.
and i cried so hard that i gave myself a headache.
i dont know what else to say.. im still kind of .. numb and weird and stuff
i guess thats all.
i look dumb when i cry.

untitled

i'm going to work in about an hour.
which is kind of lame..
but whatev. its money. that i'll be saving so i can buy an oboe.
joy.
i had my senior pictures done today. which was exciting.. except that the photographer was kind of weird.. but its cool. because i'm a senior! which is exciting.
i didnt have any clean clothes to wear for my picture.. so i decided i would just go to kohles... and buy some! haha. it was fun. i was by myself and i could take my time and try on whatever i wanted and didn't have to worry about someone looking over my shoulder and making faces at what i picked out..
it was cool.
i looked good. lol.
and then i went to five guys for lunch. which was really good, but i could pretty much feel my arteries clogging.
whatev.
i think i'm going to wash my car tomorrow.
it needs it.
this blog is so pointless.. i apologize to anyone unfortunate enough to be reading.
oh, and i still havent gotten a chance to watch my movie yet..
so sad.
i'll watch it tomorrow though. i have nothing to do all day.

and the winner is...

right. so, i don't ever use proper text formatting.. so that just shows you how stupid i was last night.
ha..
maybe i was just excited or something.. it was my first blog.
...here...
so anyways. i woke up this morning..and then i went back to bed..and then i woke up again..and was thinking about getting up, but decided against it. sooooo after a long struggle i finally am here and awake. at 9:18. which is a big deal for me, seeing as the first time i woke up was 7:00 and is typical for me...
I read my email.. i dont really know why because its not like i ever get anything worth reading anyways, and i had a nice little message from the people that send me my daily horoscope which told me that today it was:
"Let your deepest ideals be your guide right now -- they are quite active and should be much more powerful a force than they usually are. Someone needs to know how you really feel about things."
So.. I deleted it!
which is typical.
but then i thought about it and read it again... out of my garbage.. which would be really disgusting if it wasnt electronic and stuff.
and i decided that i was going to write this completely pointless blog about my life!
and this isn't going exactly the way i wanted it to in my head, so im going to skip to the part i really wanted to say.
ive been wanting to watch brokeback mountain for about 3 months now. just because i saw it once and it was really good.
but i cant.
because of my parents.
if i rented it, they would freak out and be like "omg. get this spawn of satan away from me" (ok they probably wouldnt say "omg")
so i was going to buy it. but until now ive been so completely caught up with what people would think about me if i bought it that i havent done it yet. and i probably wasnt going to.
but i am today.
because i dont really give a sh*t what people think right now, and if i want the movie, i'm getting the flipping movie.
thank you. that's all.

the subalternate station

I just created my own little blog spot.
go me.
Because, of course, I feel the need to express my inner thoughts and feelings for everyone's viewing pleasure.
I think I'm crazy or something.
Maybe you'll read these and think, "Wow...That guy is really dumb. I'm glad I'm nothing like him"
Or maybe you won't.
I guess I won't ever really know, because no matter what nobody ever leaves comments like that.
It would hurt peoples feelings.
So instead they go and right their OWN blogs. About dumb people. And innocent people read it and get hurt because they think it applies to them.
Which in turn makes them write down what they feel.. and the whole cycle continues.
I don't know why I'm saying this.
I get weird at night..